Twilight (2008)

If you’ve never heard of this film–or the Stephenie Meyer’s book on which it was based–you might want to consider moving out from under your rock. It’s a phenomenon, you see, and women all across the globe are dreaming of dark yet forbidden strangers who’ll come along and sweep them away from a life of drudgery.

And that’s exactly what happens to Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart), a lovely 17-year-old who’s staying with her father (Billy Burke) in the perpetually overcast town of Forks, Washington (think a rural version of the city from Se7en). While everyone at her new school fights for her affections, Bella is immediately attracted to the aloof Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson), a mysterious young man who attends school with his four equally beautiful and mysterious siblings.

Edward avoids her at first, and this causes their relationship to get off to a rocky start. But when he saves her life–and exhibits unusual abilities in the process–Bella’s curiosity gets the better of her. From that point on, she begins hounding Edward for clues as to his true identity.

But while Bella begins in the dark, almost everyone who sees this film already knows Edward’s secret: he’s a vampire. In fact, the entire Cullen clan is comprised of ethical bloodsuckers who only survive on the blood of animals. Just like recovering addicts, however, they’re still attracted to the sight and smell of blood, and Bella’s scent in particular drives Edward wild whenever he’s near her.

Cue the forbidden romance. Once Edward’s secret is finally out, the two star-crossed lovers try to make the best of things (despite the protests of some Cullen family members and local Native Americans). This is complicated by the arrival of three nomadic vampires who prey on humans. James (Cam Gigandet), a skilled tracker, is particularly fond of draining humans; you can imagine the ensuing chaos when he gets a whiff of Bella.

Let me start by saying that I went into Twilight fully expecting to hate it; I blame much of this on the weak promotional material for the film. Bella looks about 12-years-old in the movie’s poster, and Edward appears to have been at ground zero during an explosion at a Revlon factory. In actuality, both actors look quite appealing on the screen, and Kristen Stewart in particular has an alluring, dark beauty.

Since I expected to hate the film, allow me to atone by initially focusing only on the positives. First off, there’s the romantic element of the plot; in fact, everything in this film exists only to further the relationship between Bella and Edward. If you want to be transported to a place where forbidden love can overcome even the harshest of odds, welcome to the world of Twilight.

You also have to credit the screenplay and the source material for creating a decidedly unique set of vampire rules. Yes, it flies in the face of sacred legends like stakes through the heart and sensitivity to garlic, but it also succeeds in creating a world which draws on nothing but the imagination of its creator. When watching Twilight, keep the following in mind:

• Vampires possess great strength and speed (others may possess powers like mind-reading, emotion control, or the ability to see the future)
• They never sleep.
• They can go out during the day, but exposure to direct sunlight causes their skin to sparkle like diamonds.
• Holy symbols have no effect.
• The only way to kill a vampire is to tear the body into pieces and then incinerate it.

Another interesting twist on the vampire myth–and my personal favorite–comes when Edward explains his predatory nature to Bella. Like certain animals who lure their prey in with trickery, Edward mentions that his voice, looks and even smell are all designed to get humans close enough for him to feed on them. This made sense, and I thought it was a nice touch to describe vampires as the ultimate predator.

On the directorial side of things, Catherine Hardwicke creates a world straight from a faux-goth music video. With so many dramatically timed pans, zooms and tracking shots, I was convinced that she must have a career stretching back to MTV (she doesn’t). While cynical viewers may start looking for Amy Lee to show up and start singing, I thought the brooding look of the film worked just fine.

Now for my two major complaints about the film: the dialogue and the villain.

The dialogue is silly beyond belief, although I don’t imagine the teenage target audience is complaining too much. While cast members deliver their lines with conviction, they’re ultimately let down by the limitations of the script. I can only assume that much of the blame deserves to be placed at the feet of the book’s author, Stephenie Meyer, but I’ll go ahead and mention screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg, just in case someone decides to file a lawsuit based on emotional distress.

If you don’t know whether or not to believe me, consider these two choice lines from the film:

“You’re like my own personal brand of heroin.”

“So the lion fell in love with the lamb.” (Meyer was quite adamant that this line from the book be included)

If you think the above dialogue seems more appropriate for the diary of a Miley Cyrus fan, then we’re in total agreement. If you disagree, then pretend I gave the film a five-star rating and stop reading right now.

Finally, there’s the Bella-obsessed vampire known as James. While he seems able to track almost anyone, he also has the misfortune of being incredibly dimwitted. How else can you describe someone who so blatantly disregards seven-against-one odds (not in his favor)? In the end, he’s not even really that much of a threat; he simply exists to give Edward and Bella yet another reason to gaze longingly at one another in slow motion.

Young people will probably be more forgiving of this film than adults, but that doesn’t mean the older set should avoid it. There’s a lot to like about Twilight, and a number of sequels are sure to come. Let’s just hope that future scripts increasingly distance themselves from Meyer’s amateurish writing.