She’s Out of My League (2010)

If She’s Out of My League were a scrawny loser and the audience were a smoking-hot girl–What am I taking about “if”? This buddy-film-meets-romantic-comedy is a scrawny loser, every bit as clumsy and unfunny as its main character.

That would be Kirk (Jay Baruchel), a skinny, low-achieving guy who works airport security with his ragtag bunch of friends. When busty, leggy and blonde Molly (Alice Eve) sashays through his metal detector, Kirk is kind enough to stop his ogling boss from unnecessarily handling her goods. He also agrees to safeguard her lost iPhone until she returns the following day. Apparently, that’s the stuff that love is made of for hot chicks. Molly, who is indeed way out of his league, falls for Kirk almost instantly.

And it’s not just about appearances. Sure, Molly looks like a Breck girl, while Kirk is the spitting image of a before shot in one of those old “I’m drinking milk” commercials. The real disparity lies in the personality of these characters. Kirk, who never went to college, seems content to loaf along through life with his sub-par job, being disrespected by his parents (Debra Jo Rupp and Adam LeFevre), abused by his older brother and sister-in-law (Kyle Bronheimer and Jessica St. Clair), and taken advantage of by his ex-girlfriend (Lindsay Sloane) who doesn’t want him but still likes to hang out in his parents’ pool. He’s the kind of guy that would be content to go see his best friend Stainer’s (TJ Miller) Hall & Oates cover band or watch hockey with his married friend Devon (Nate Torrence) every Friday night.

In contrast, Molly is well-educated, self-possessed, financially successful and classy enough to handle all of Kirk’s low-class, tasteless friends and family with grace and aplomb. They say love is blind, but you have to wonder: what does she see in this dude?

I suppose screenwriters Sean Anders and John Morris want us to believe that Kirk is funny and fun to be around. Too bad they didn’t write anything funny for him to say. Then again, these are the same guys who brought the world the unrated version of Sex Drive, a teen sex farce that cribs shamelessly off of American Pie and Road Trip. Similarly, the only two chuckles in this film come from hair-removal and bodily fluid gags recycled from The 40-Year-Old Virgin and Andy Samberg’s “Jizz in My Pants,” respectively.

Add inexperienced director Jim Field Smith to the mix and things only get worse. She’s Out of My League is a studio picture (Dreamworks/Paramount)–I assume with a corresponding budget–that manages to feel like a $10,000 film school senior project. If Smith hoped that grainy pictures and bad lighting would lend this stinker of a script some indie credibility and authenticity, he was sorely mistaken.

It’s true that the burden of believability in a film like this one often falls on its actors. Why does Diane Court fall for Lloyd Dobler? Because John Cusack’s fast-talking and earnest brown eyes are irresistible. Why does Allison Scott fall for Ben Stone? Because Seth Rogen’s devil-may-care delivery and sloppy good looks are actually kind of adorable.

Baruchel is not as likeable as of either of those guys by half and his acting is even less up to par. He squints, slouches, and is all-around awkward and dull. As for Ms. Eve, if she can act, it’s hard to tell. The puffy white cloud of perfection she floats on throughout the over-long movie (105 poorly edited minutes) makes it difficult to tell if there’s more to her than bouncy golden locks and a Colgate smile.

She’s Out of My League tries really hard to be a loveable loser of film, but it fails miserably on the crucial half of that description. If you’re anything but brain-dead, you’re out of its league.