Mutant Chronicles (2009)
By Shane Rivers
The Mutant Chronicles franchise has been around for over 15 years, producing board games, role-playing games, comic books and more. While hardcore fans may flip out at the very thought of a big screen adaptation, the rest of us will probably be a little less enthusiastic about Mutant Chronicles. Style over substance is a term which readily springs to mind.
The film begins by telling us about a machine which fell from the sky thousands of years ago. Horrible mutants emerged, dragging humans inside the machine to be themselves transformed into nearly unstoppable killers. After many costly battles, the enemy was defeated, the machine buried, and the secrets of how to stop the mutants written down in a tome and entrusted to an order of holy guardians.
Fast forward to the 23rd century, where the Earth has been carved up by various rival corporations. These groups constantly war over the planet’s limited resources, and much of the technology has been transformed into the steam variety. When a battle in Poland accidentally unburies the machine, the mutants once again return to the surface to wreak havoc. Within mere days, Earth is in danger of being completely overrun, and all able survivors are evacuating to Mars.
A monk named Brother Samuel (Ron Perlman) takes the aforementioned tome to the leaders of the corporations, promising an end to their mutant worries if he can have a ship and 20 warriors. While most reject his beliefs, their leader, Constantine (John Malkovich), decides to assist him. Brother Samuel is given transport and enough resources to recruit seven warriors for a suicide mission. These include: Major Mitch Hunter (Thomas Jane), a battle-hardened soldier from North America; Cpl. Valerie Duval (Devon Aoki), a lethal warrior and mother of two; Lt. Maximillian von Steiner (Benno Furmann), a no-nonsense German officer; Severian (Anna Walton), a female cleric in Brother Samuel’s order and silent protector of the tome; Cpl. Juba Kim Wu (Tom Wu), a philosophical warrior who gets a tattoo for every kill; Capt. John McGuire (Steve Toussaint), a heroic soldier of the African corporation; and Cpl. Jesus de Barrera (Luis Echegaray), a comrade of Major Hunter.
Once the group is assembled, the rest of the film follows their journey to deliver an ancient device–believed to be a bomb– deep into the heart of the enemy stronghold. Along the way, they encounter old friends, desperate refugees, and plenty of bloodthirsty mutants.
Mutant Chronicles has an interesting look (think Casshern with a more muted palette). While this does occasionally distract from the paper-thin characters and unimaginative action scenes, it can only do so much. I was hoping for a science fiction version of The Dirty Dozen, but it‘s nowhere near that compelling. Thomas Jane, a talented actor who has all the qualities of an action movie star, once again gets done in by a lackluster script (just like in The Punisher). Even the brief presence of John Malkovich can’t promote this movie beyond the rank of mediocre.
It’s obvious that our self-sacrificing heroes are going to get killed off one-by-one, but most don’t have enough personality to warrant any real audience reaction beyond a sadistic chuckle. I wanted to care as team members were blown up, cut in half, or transformed into mutants, but I just couldn’t muster the energy.
Mutant Chronicles is still a fun movie; it’s just one that requires you to lower the bar considerably before viewing. Much like a living video game, it’s colorful, violent, and completely soulless. I guess two out of three ain’t bad.
This Mutant Chronicles movie review is copyright 2009 Small World Marketing and Shane Rivers. This Mutant Chronicles review should not be reprinted without the permission of the copyright holders.
This movie review of Mutant Chronicles expresses the opinion of the author only. Other Mutant Chronicles movie reviews are available online, and some of those might or might not express different opinions on the movie. Like those other Mutant Chronicles movie reivews, this Mutant Chronicles review is intended for the entertainment and education of the reader. This Mutant Chronicles movie review is provided as is with no warranty or guarantee implied.
