Jennifer's Body (2009)

“Hell is a teenage girl,” asserts the opening line of “Jennifer’s Body.” If Jean-Paul Sartre had gotten a peak at Diablo Cody’s latest film, he would certainly have agreed.

“Jennifer’s Body” starts out as the story of a pair of two unlikely BFFs. There’s Jennifer Check (Megan Fox), who embodies every high school popular girl cliché. She’s an all-American cheerleader, a sharp-tongued mean girl, and a backseat carnival ride, who’ll try anything at least once. Jennifer is totally aware of what her body does to all the boys — and some grown men — around her. Early in the film, she grabs her cleavage-bared chest and instructs her bestie of their power as guided missiles.

The only aspect of Jennifer’s personality that doesn’t seem to fit the teen sexpot/dream stereotype is her friendship with Needy Lesnicky (Amanda Seyfried). Needy is pretty, but with glasses and mediocre clothes; smart but with a cute, sweet boyfriend (Johnny Simmons); and friendly across the cliques. But Needy is no victim and easily keeps up with Jennifer in the insult Olympics. She and Jennifer crack wise, calling each other “Vagisil” and “Monistat” and describing each other as “totally lime-green Jello,” which I think is Diablo Cody for jealous.

Watching those dynamics unfold over the course of a school year would’ve been horrorshow enough. But when the girls head to see an indie-rock band from the “city” perform in the one bar of their small Minnesota town, aptly called Devil’s Kettle, things get really scary. It turns out that the band, fronted by guy-linered Nikolai (Adam Brody) is pure evil. The boys all but kidnap Jennifer in their van (“a 1999 Rapist,” to quote Needy) because they’re convinced she’s really an all-talk, no-action virgin. That was their first mistake.

When next we see Jennifer, she is covered in blood and hungry as hell. She rips into a rotisserie chicken before spewing spiky, black bile all over Needy’s kitchen linoleum. But finding that doesn’t ease her stomach pangs; she finds a tasty football player morsel to devour instead. That hits the spot. From then on, Jennifer goes from hormone-ravaged-girl evil to demon-possessed-succubus evil. It’s a line so fine that only Needy notices a change in her friend.

“Jennifer’s Body” borrows from a wide range of genre films in which teenage girls take centerstage. Think “The Craft” meets “Bring It On” meets “Poison Ivy” (complete with the hot, lesbian kiss) and you’re almost there. Like the best of those early 1990s riot grrrl flicks, “Jennifer’s Body” also has a stellar soundtrack that is both in tune with the action of the film and download-worthy. While it features current alt-rock darlings Hayley Williams (of Paramore), Dashboard Confessional, and Panic! at the Disco, there’s also a track from grunge superstars Hole. Although it’s not the song — from the band’s seminal 1994 album “Live Through This” — that gives the movie its title, the nod is duly noted.

The film is tied together by Cody’s clever dialogue — which we first got to know two years ago in Juno — and Karyn Kusama’s campy, over-the-top directing (the blood actually looks like corn syrup in some scenes). Kusama, who also directed Michelle Rodriguez in 2000’s “Girl Fight”, again shows her skill with spot-on casting. Let it be known that I am no great fan of Megan Fox. I find her “beauty” as technology-enhanced and forced as her acting. And I have been known to describe her as the prettiest hooker in the trailer park. Still, when an actor finds the right role, it just fits. And what better role could there be for a woman whose sole claim to fame are her killer curves than a literal soul-less man-eater?

Seyfried, for her part, manages to successfully anchor the whole tongue-in-cheek, self-aware, pop culture-referential affair with her honest performance as Needy. The story is narrated from her point of view, and Seyfried’s unironic portrayal is completely neccessary to keep audiences interested in the tale of teenage bitchery and carnage.

I would caution anyone shelling out their ten bucks for ample doses of Miss Fox’s fleshy assets to save their money. You don’t see much more of her than you can when she’s draped over the motorcycle in “Transformers.” Similarly, if you’re in the market for realistic blood and gore, you should spend your pennies on a “Saw” rental instead. But if you’re in for something really disgusting — that is, the hell that is navigating life as a teenage girl — “Jennifer’s Body” is a good choice.