Fast Five (2011)

When writing a movie review, sometimes the goal is to search every nook and cranny for symbolism and an underlying commentary about society. In other cases, it’s just a matter of tallying up the body count or documenting all the car chases, fistfights, and CGI effects. The review for Fast Five, the fifth film in The Fast and the Furious series, falls into the latter category. So for those of you searching for parallels between Dominic Toretto’s biceps and the American military industrial complex…keep looking.

This energized sequel serves as an all-star installment of the series, with a whole host of characters making return appearances. Here are the familiar faces to look for:

• Dominic “Dom” Toretto (Vin Diesel) – A master street racer, ex-con, and all-around tough guy.
• Brian O’Conner (Paul Walker) – A former undercover cop for the LAPD and FBI agent, O’Conner would later fall for the sister of Dominic Toretto and become a fugitive.
• Mia Toretto (Jordana Brewster) – The sister of Dominic Toretto and the love interest of Brian O’Conner.
• Han Lue (Sung Kang) – A Japanese street racer and pal of Dominic Toretto, he also plays a major role in The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift, which chronologically comes after the other four films in the franchise.
• Roman Pearce (Tyrese Gibson) – The fast-talking childhood friend of Brian O’Conner.
• Vince (Matt Schulze) – Street racer and childhood friend of Dominic Toretto.
• Tej Parker (Ludacris) – A former street racer and garage owner who’s a longtime friend of Brian O’Conner.
• Gisele Harabo (Gal Gadot) – A former agent for the Mossad and ex-liaison for drug lord Arturo Braga.
• Rico Santos (Don Omar) – A member of Dominic Toretto’s crew.
• Tego Leo (Tego Calderon) – A member of Dominic Toretto’s crew.
• Monica Fuentes (Eva Mendes) – A undercover U.S. Customs agent who fell for Brian O’Conner during the events of 2 Fast 2 Furious.

Picking up where the last one left off, Fast Five details Dom’s (Diesel) escape from a prison bus and his gang’s relocation to Rio de Janeiro. Brian (Walker) and Mia (Brewster) get there first, and they’re recruited to pull a job by longtime Toretto accomplice Vince (Schulze). But things quickly go sideways, leaving the group framed for the murder of three DEA agents and pursued by the henchmen of a ruthless Brazilian crime figure (Joaquim de Almeida). And if those odds weren’t long enough, the U.S. government sends in a special agent with bulging biceps (Dwayne Johnson) to capture Dom and Brian and bring them back home the hard way. Oh, and Mia keeps rubbing her tummy and looking lovingly at Brian (hint, hint).

But O’Conner, Toretto, and company aren’t the kind of folks to run for long, and soon they concoct a convoluted-yet-daring scheme to steal the crime lord’s money and disappear forever (well, at least until The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift). In order to do so, they recruit a number of old friends and acquaintances who happily journey to Rio without even knowing what’s going on. Since over $100 million is on the line, expect plenty of gunfire, speeding cars, and muscular guys looking serious while shifting into a higher gear. Meanwhile, The Rock and his group of gun-toting agents keep getting closer and closer.

A glorified heist film with tons of car racing action, Fast Five should more than satisfy fans of the previous films. In fact, here’s a rundown of some of the included elements that made the other films so popular:

• An endless supply of speeding cars (with the subsequent crashes included).
• Big budget action scenes (including a high-speed railroad hijacking and a tense, climactic chase featuring a massive bank vault being pulled through the streets of Rio).
• Vin Diesel as the ex-con with a heart of gold.
• Plenty of sexy ladies (including Jordana Brewster, Gal Gadot, and Elsa Pataky).
• A non-American villain who you root against every step of the way.
• Paul Walker sporting a scruffy beard but still managing to seem sensitive.
• Banter. Lots and lots of banter.

If all of this sounds like a bore, then by all means skip Fast Five. Everyone else should probably have a good–if mindless–time.

Sure, the film is overlong at 130 minutes, and director Justin Lin (who also helmed Tokyo Drift and Fast & Furious) brings nothing new to the table. And, yes, the three editors responsible for the action scenes resort to the kind of fast cuts that drive me crazy. Finally, there’s screenwriter Chris Morgan (also of Tokyo Drift and Fast & Furious), a scribe whose talent level seems better suited for writing video game scripts and fortune cookies.

But stuff blows up, things go fast, and various female fleshy parts jiggle and bounce. For most who line up for Fast Five, that’s all that really matters.