Donkey Punch (2008)

I suppose it was only a matter of time before we got a movie centered around the delivery of a legendary sexual maneuver. With the release of Donkey Punch, one has to wonder if Chewbacca or The Houdini can be far behind?

For those of you who aren’t full-time perverts, let’s consult the always-helpful Wikipedia for a definition. It defines the donkey punch as a “sexual practice supposedly performed during anal sex. The purported practice involves the penetrating partner punching the receiving partner in the back of the head or neck allegedly causing the receiving partner’s anal passage to tense up and increase the pleasure of the penetrating partner.”

Before any of our readers run out and give it a try, please keep in mind that punching someone in the back of the head can lead to serious injury or death, and you could very well find yourself behind bars. Besides that, there’s no real evidence that the donkey punch even works. It’s simply a bizarre sex act dreamt up by someone with too much time on their hands. Now that the public service announcement is over, let’s get back to the review.

The film begins with Lisa (Sian Brecklin), Kim (Jaime Winstone) and Tammi (Nichola Burley) all enjoying a holiday in Spain. In the midst of their partying, they meet the crew of a yacht, Josh (Julian Morris), Bluey (Tom Burke), Sean (Robert Boulter), and Marcus (Jay Taylor). It seems the owners of the yacht are away, and so the horny young men invite the girls to come aboard.

The yacht is taken out to sea, and the usual youthful debauchery begins. Once everyone is filled with their drug of choice, three of the men and two of the women go below deck to engage in some sexual escapades. As the title of the film would indicate, it isn’t too long before the ‘ol donkey punch is tried out, and one of the girls is accidentally killed (see, I told you it was a dangerous maneuver).

For the rest of the film, the remaining youths have to decide what to do with the dead girl’s body. The sex was being recorded, so there’s also an incriminating video tape for the boys to worry about, especially the one who delivered the fatal blow. While several of the crew favor dumping the body overboard, you can imagine that this doesn’t sit well with her friends. Since the movie poster features a blood-splattered propeller, you can probably also deduce that things are going to take a decidedly violent turn.

Falling somewhere in-between a thriller and a horror film, Donkey Punch is nothing more than an average way to pass an evening, although watching it with a group will no doubt improve the viewing experience. There’s plenty of male and female nudity–as one might expect given the film’s name–and horror fans will probably also enjoy the death scenes involving a flare gun and a propeller. I also learned that cocaine can be used as a painkiller if you ever get stabbed in the chest by an angry English tart.

While European audiences may be immune, American viewers may find some of the dialogue hard to understand. The characters speak in a variety of British accents, and at times it sounds like a movie starring Ali G and John Lennon. Of course, the dialogue is secondary in a film like this, and you could literally hit the mute button and still understand what’s going on.

Ultimately, it’s a disposable flick which does manage to get more out of its limited premise than I would’ve imagined. The inevitable combat below decks generates a certain level of claustrophobic tension, and the performances are all adequate considering the middle-of-the-pack material. Much like its namesake, Donkey Punch will probably leave you disappointed if you expect too much, but at least it won’t land you in jail.