Crowley (2008)

Aleister Crowley, also known as The Beast 666, was a British occultist of some notoriety in the early 20th century. He was also a mountaineer, spy, chess player, painter, poet, writer and yogi. Due to his nontraditional lifestyle–which included bisexuality, carnal rituals, and drugs–Crowley was dubbed “The Wickedest Man in the World,” a nickname he no doubt embraced with much relish.

You see, Aleister Crowley was someone who loved attention. As his infamy grew, more and more sycophants lined up to satiate the demands of both his ego and his body. In many ways, it’s a shame that Crowley didn’t live in the modern age; it would have been most fascinating to watch him turn his talents of self-promotion to the internet.

But Crowley does live on in pop culture. One of Ozzy Osbourne’s most famous songs is about him, and his likeness is featured on the cover of The Beatles’ Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. And with the release of this 2008 horror flick (originally known as Chemical Wedding and co-written by Iron Maiden frontman Bruce Dickinson), Crowley is once again smiling somewhere out there on the astral plane.

While the movie begins with Crowley’s death in 1947, it quickly jumps ahead to present-day England. An American scientist, Joshua Mathers (Kal Weber) arrives in Cambridge to continue his work on a virtual reality machine. But unbeknownst to him, his Crowley-obsessed assistant (Jud Charlton) has programmed the computer with the occultist’s writings and beliefs. When the stuttering Professor Haddo (Simon Callow) takes the machine for a spin, he soon finds himself possessed by the spirit of Crowley. As expected, The Beast wastes no time in going on a rampage, and he has special plans for Lia Robinson, a too-curious-for-her-own-good campus reporter.

Instead of Crowley, the movie could’ve just as easily been named Callow, as British actor Simon Callow steals the show with his portrayal of the title character. The pre-possession Haddo is a disheveled mess of a man, suffering from a pronounced stutter and godawful haircut, but that all changes once Crowley enters his body. His head is shaved, his stutter is gone, and he quickly steals a purple suit and hat to become more fashionable.

But it’s his outrageous behavior that audiences should really get a kick out of (at least those who aren’t easily offended). During the course of the film, Crowley: urinates on his students as part of a lecture on Macbeth, masturbates his chief henchman, sodomizes a woman to cure her ailing back, hypnotizes women into becoming sex slaves, magically sends a semen-soaked fax, and so much more. Oh, and he also kills or assaults anyone who displeases him.

Callow’s voice booms with power, and every sentence out of his mouth seems to ooze with temptation. We’re gazing on a living corrupter, but it’s too much fun to look away.

Callow’s performance aside, the rest of Crowley is nothing more than average. It’s also surprisingly short on blood and guts for a film included in the horror genre. It does, however, have a fair amount of nudity, which is only appropriate considering the occultist often used sexual acts to fuel his rituals.

Fans of horror may enjoy it, and Iron Maiden fanatics will appreciate the fact that it was written by the same man who brought them “Flight of Icarus” and “Can I Play with Madness” (which appears in the film). Anyone else should probably steer clear of Crowley, just like many did with the real-life subject of the film.