Weird Movie Reviews

February 4th, 2010

It occurred to us that those of you with a taste for the strange and macabre might be interested in some weird movie reviews. These are reviews of those films that screw with your head and leave you wondering WTF for the next few hours…but in a good way.

Some filmmakers only dabble in this market. Case in point: Peter Jackson directed a puppet porn/crime thriller called Meet the Feebles before moving on to more mainstream fare like The Lord of the Rings, King Kong, and The Lovely Bones. On the other hand, some moviemakers are so good at weird movies that they hardly make any other kind. Here’s a look at some of those filmmakers and their unusual movies:

Blue Velvet: An unflinching look at the darker side of human nature, David Lynch’s 1986 cult classic revolves around a college kid (Kyle MacLachlan) who returns home to his ailing father’s bedside. When he discovers a severed human ear in the fields near his house, he gets caught up in the world of masochistic chanteuse Dorothy Vallens (Isabella Rossellini). Blue Velvet’s images are as surreal as you would expect from David Lynch, but his early work at least has an understandable narrative thread. To be totally confounded, check out some of his later work in Lost Highway and Mulholland Drive.

Donnie Darko: Almost everything about this movie is bizarre – from the slow pacing to the quirky soundtrack to the all-eyes face of its hero, Donnie (a then-undiscovered Jake Gyllenhaal). Not to mention the terrifying six-foot bunny named Frank that sends him on a local crime spree after he sleepwalks out his house, narrowly escaping death. Writer-director Richard Kelly’s most recent film The Box, was also pretty peculiar, although not nearly as good.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind: This unusual love story is practically Disney by screenwriter Charlie Kaufman standards. It tells the story of Joel (Jim Carrey) and Clementine (Kate Winslet), a couple whose romance sours. When it does, they decide to undergo a procedure to erase one another from their memories but the traces left behind cause some confusing complications. For more Kaufman mind trips, try Being John Malkovich, Adaptation, and Synecdoche, New York.

Cry-Baby: Don’t let the recent feel-good remake of Hairspray fool you. John Waters is a weird guy who makes some weird movies. In this film, Johnny Depp stars as the title character, a 1950s greaser-type who is only capable of crying a single tear. Surrounded by misfits and outcasts (he has a friend named Hatchet Face, enough said.), Cry-Baby is the normal one in the movie. Waters’ campy sense of humor makes this film prime fodder for our weird movie reviews roundup. For more from this kooky writer-director, check out the original Hairspray, Pecker, and Cecil B. Demented.

A Clockwork Orange: I’d love to offer an insightful review of this stellar example of Stanley Kubrick’s filmmaking, but the experience of watching this movie was so intense that I ended up on the bathroom floor puking my guts out for much of it. But then, Kubrick’s entire body of work is strange and intense. For further proof, you need look no further than Eyes Wide Shut, Full Metal Jacket, Dr. Strangelove, and The Shining.

Edward Scissorhands: A mad scientist animates a boy to be his son and companion. When he dies before having the chance to equip him with human hands, Edward (Johnny Depp, really adept at these weird movie roles) must go out into the real world with giant hedge clippers for digits. Once there, he finds love, bigotry and a career in the salon business. This movie is an ideal showcase for Tim Burton’s knack for the simultaneously dark and comic, and for arresting imagery. Not weird enough for you? Try Ed Wood, Sweeney Todd, or Big Fish.

If you still can’t get enough weird movie reviews, check out these other sites for their takes.

And don’t forget that all the films listed above can be purchased through Amazon. They offer low prices, fast shipping, and a small commission to us for sending you there.

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Good Movie Reviews

January 29th, 2010

If you’re in the market for good movie reviews – that is, well-written reviews of movies worth seeing, then you’re in the right place. It’s harder to praise a film than to pan it, as there are only so many words for great. But these five recent reviews showcase the adjective-finding, metaphor-making, analysis-writing chops of some talented reviewers and some enjoyable films.

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Planet of the Apes – Movie Quote of the Day

January 28th, 2010

“Get your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!”
–George Taylor (Charlton Heston) from Planet of the Apes (1968)

Recent Movie Reviews

January 28th, 2010

Are you on a quest for recent movie reviews? If so, you’ve come to the right place. In this post, I’ve included a number of the latest movie reviews to keep you informed of what’s hot and what’s not. And keep in mind that you can buy movies like Avatar on Amazon for much less than most chains (plus we get a cut of the action). Boy, could your day get any better?

These are the most recent movie reviews, but other films may be flooding into multiplexes by the time you read this. For the latest on new movies like The Wolfman and Shutter Island, be sure to check back often.

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Apollo 13 – Movie Quote of the Day

January 27th, 2010

“Houston, we have a problem.”
–Jim Lovell (Tom Hanks) from Apollo 13 (1995)

Roeper Movie Reviews

January 27th, 2010

If you’re looking for Roeper movie reviews, then you must be a fan of Richard Roeper, the columnist/critic for The Chicago Sun-Times and co-host of At the Movies (aka Ebert & Roeper at the Movies and Ebert & Roeper) from 2000 until 2008. He’s also the author of the following books about cinema:

(All these books can be found on Amazon, and buying one will help us pay for the costs of maintaining this site. I could also use a new pair of shoes. )

In February of 2009, fans of Roeper movie reviews were thrilled to hear that he was launching his own website at RichardRoeper.com. In addition to waxing philosophic about sports and politics, Roeper also posts movies reviews in text and video form. The video reviews are done with the cooperation of the Starz cable channel. And like everyone else in the nation, Roeper also shares his thoughts on Twitter.

While he continues to maintain his site, he has also signed a six-figure deal with ReelzChannel within the last few months. From the looks of it, Richard Roeper movie reviews will soon be everywhere.

In case you’re wondering what all the fuss is about, here’s a selection of Roeper film reviews and movie articles currently available. Take a look and marvel at the critical skills that could very well make him the heir to Roger Ebert’s empire. To read the full review, just click on the lick I’ve so graciously provided.

There are tons more reviews available on the Richard Roeper website, from smash hits like Avatar to Moon, the brilliant science-fiction film starring Sam Rockwell.

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10 Funny Movie Reviews

January 27th, 2010

These 10 funny movie reviews should provide a nice change of pace from the usual super-serious reviews written by all the respectable critics. The following reviews are filled with cynicism, sexual innuendo and downright goofiness. Read on and prepare to be amused.

Avatar from Cracked – Bobby “Fatboy” Roberts writes this review of Avatar. While it ends up being a positive review due to the intense action scenes of the climax, the bulk of the reviews if a scathing (and hilarious) look at the rest of the film. From Dances With Wolves comparisons to complaints about clumsy romantic subplots, there’s plenty of comedic goodness to be had in this funny movie review.

Seven Pounds from FilmBender – The guys at FilmBender pull no punches, claiming that seven pounds isn’t nearly as many times as they’d like to pound star Rosario Dawson. It’s hardly an in-depth analysis, but it did give me a chuckle. Hopefully, it’ll do the same for you. Plus, it features a great picture of the lovely Ms. Dawson.

District 9 from Mr. Cranky – Mr. Cranky hates every movie; it’s just a matter of how much he hates them. He really despises District 9, complaining in humorous detail about the level of violence and underdeveloped aliens.

Speed 2: Cruise Control from Roger Ebert – This one isn’t meant to be funny, but it still is. That’s because venerable film critic Roger Ebert actually gave three stars out of four to the disaster known as Speed 2: Cruise Control. While I’m certain Jason Patric was thrilled by the positive review, anyone else will be left scratching their head in confusion…and amusement. I guess nobody’s perfect.

I Am Sam from Mr. Cranky – Another gem from Mr. Cranky, this time aimed at a film where Sean Penn plays a mentally disabled man. Cranky calls it a “shameless piece of universal cosmic dung,” but he’s just getting started. Check out this classic bit of criticism: “Sam has a group of funny developmentally challenged friends, several of whom are not played by actual developmentally challenged people. At my screening, their antics tended to make middle-aged women with below-average IQs giggle a lot.”

Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead from FilmBender – Besides talking about the sheer hotness of Marisa Tomei, the guys at FilmBender also manage to talk a little bit about the actual movie. But mostly they discuss how good Tomei looks in and out of bed.

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li from Mr. Cranky – One of my favorite sites when it comes to funny movie reviews, Cranky sums this film up perfectly with the following line, “Street Fighter used to be about the fighting. Apparently, now it’s about giving B grade TV stars their very own leading roles.”

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li from Ain’t It Cool News – One of Harry Knowles’ cronies also gets in on the Street Fighter bashing, calling this Kristin Kreuk vehicle “really, really, really bad shit.” This one is pretty lengthy compared to other funny movie reviews, so expect to get plenty of comedic bang for your buck.

Rest Stop from Film Cynic - When it comes to horror films, Rest Stop is about as bad as it gets. So bad it’s laughable, the film eventually wears you down like a screening of Mystery Science Theater. Film Cynic explores the awfulness in great detail, taking about everything from so-called acting to the atrocious script. The film is unintentionally funny, while the review certainly means to be.

Miss March from Mr. Cranky – One final gem from Mr. Cranky, this review rips apart Miss March, a film that had critics everywhere frothing at the mouth in disgust. It receives the dreaded mushroom cloud rating, which, according to the site, is “proof that Jesus died in vain.” Cranky says the film “has no balls” and is a “1.5 hour infomercial on Playboy.” Click on the link to read more.

If you’d like to buy any of the movies above, click on the Amazon links we’ve provided. We’ll get a small commission fee for sending you there, and everyone walks away from the experience happy.

Also recommended:

Sudden Impact – Movie Quote of the Day

January 26th, 2010

“Go ahead, make my day.”
—Harry Callahan (Clint Eastwood) from Sudden Impact (1983)

Great Movie Review Sites

January 26th, 2010

If you’re in the mood for some great movie review sites, you’ve come to the right place. I’ve scoured the Internet, sacrificing precious hours that could’ve been dedicated to finding a cure for cancer. Instead, I put together this list of film sites, each one dedicated to providing unique insight into the motion pictures currently playing at your local theatre or available on DVD.

Almost all of the films reviewed on these sites can be purchased through Amazon. I’d highly recommend it, as Amazon offers great prices and fast, reliable shipping. Even better, we get a small commission if you go there from our site. That’s not too much to ask, is it?

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Midnight Cowboy – Movie Quote of the Day

January 25th, 2010

“I’m walking here! I’m walking here!”
–”Ratso” Rizzo (Dustin Hoffman) from Midnight Cowboy (1969)