Black Dynamite (2009)

I hate the word homage. Unfortunately, it’s used a lot these days to describe films. While marketing experts would like us to believe it means an inspired nod to a certain style or genre, it can also be the mask an awful film hides behind. Since the trailer for Black Dynamite made it out to be one of these flimsy tributes, I had my doubts about it from the beginning. I was right.

The film pays homage to blaxploitation films made popular by the likes of Pam Grier, Richard Roundtree and Melvin Van Peebles. But in many ways, it has more in common with those fake Grindhouse trailers found in abundance on YouTube. Yeah, they’re amusing and look cool, but would Thanksgiving really be a good 90-minute Eli Roth movie?

The story revolves around Black Dynamite (his real name, apparently, but I knew a kid named Diamond Righteous in the sixth grade, so I can‘t complain), a former CIA agent who now protects his neighborhood streets. When his brother is shot to death by the local drug pushers for snitching, he sets out to avenge him. He also vows to end the string of orphans getting hooked on smack. Along the way, however, Black Dynamite discovers a conspiracy that leads him to the very top. I’ll let you guess where that is. The conspiracy itself is pretty funny.

While amusing in spots, the film fails to deliver consistent laughs, and most of the other on-screen action isn’t particularly engaging. The jokes feel repetitive by the third act, and Black Dynamite often plays as more of a novelty than a film. It’s the movie equivalent of a new iPod or something else that’s cool to look at. After a time, the new wears off. In this case, that occurs before the film’s runtime is even over.

This is the kind of movie that you can do one of three things with. The first: you put it on to entertain yourself while eating dinner, paying bills online, and tidying up around the house. This isn’t something that remotely requires your full attention.

Second: it’s a movie you put on at a party while smoking weed or playing drinking games. It’s essentially background noise. At some point, some random drunk girl will plop down on the couch and ask “What’s this?” Then some nerdy film geek like myself will tell her “It’s Black Dynamite.“ She’ll then make a comment about how old it is, and, while you’re trying to explain that it’s a new film shot on Super 16, she’ll doze off.

The third thing: a young, dating couple rents it, begins to make out during the mid-second act and they don’t even make it to the third. It goes back to the Redbox virtually unwatched.

It’s not that Black Dynamite is an unwatchable film, but it would’ve been better as a short film or series of broadcast comedic sketches due to the lack of gags and substance. In that sense, it’s a great watch if you just need something in the background while you do chores or multitask, but if this is your Friday night watch with a tub of buttered popcorn, most likely it will disappoint.

It does have its bright spots, however. I found Michael Jai White to be the perfect Black Dynamite. He’s just the right age and has the chiseled physique for the role. The cinematography was also perfect in keeping with the nostalgic texture of blaxploitation and made it fun to watch. It’s fair to say Shawn Maurer had done his homework and knew how to employ many of those stylistic nuances behind the camera.

I would love to see more Black Dynamite, but not in feature length format. I’d like to see webisodes on Comedy Central or perhaps as a featured vignette series on SNL like The X-Presidents. While this was better than most homage films, it was still a forgettable watch that starts out hot, but runs cold quickly. Revenge may be best served that way, but certainly not films!

Black Dynamite! Can ya dig it? Not really…