Anvil! The Story of Anvil (2009)

In the summer of 1984, several Heavy Metal bands toured Japan together. Amongst them were the Scorpions, Whitesnake, Bon Jovi and Anvil.

This film starts off as documentary with talking head interviews of Lars Ulrich, Lemmy, Scott Ian of Anthrax, Slash and an over-enthusiastic Malcolm Dome of Metal Hammer magazine (whose sincerity I question – his toadying got him in this feature film). None of them understand why Anvil didn’t transcend to ‘the next level’. Lemmy attributes it to fate – “If you’re not in the right place at the right time, you will never do it”. No one points the finger at the band itself.

This is a VH1 Films production, so what starts out as documentary quickly betrays itself. This is reality television. Or Celebreality, as VH1 likes to call it. The fact that they released it as a feature is a factor of good marketing. There is an audience.

In the ’80s, Heavy Metal was all hair and stadia. The success of the genre infiltrated the mainstream – Bon Jovi, Guns n Roses, Metallica, Whitesnake, Heart. Not to be confused with Hardcore or Nu-Metal. Full disclosure – despite its genesis, I am not a fan of Heavy Metal. I don’t like the music, the culture or its vibe. However, I am a fan of documentary, feature films and reality TV. I specialise in Celebreality.

This is Anvil! The Story of Anvil.

Lips (vocals, lead guitar) is 50 years old and unskilled labour. Robb Reiner (drums) is lauded by Lars Ulrich as the best metal drummer in the world – 25 years ago. He, too, is a labourer. Lips and Robb have been friends since they were 15 years old. In 1978, they formed Anvil and have released 12 studio albums (at point of filming). The first three had a modicum of success. The next nine didn’t. There have been line-up changes since ’78, but Lips and Robb remain a constant – like the Gallagher brothers in Oasis.

Ivan Hurd has been the guitarist since 1995. He met a girl in Europe and fell in love. Tiziana no speak good English – she’s Eastern European – but she is a booking agent. She books Anvil a European tour for €1,500 a gig.

There’s no fool like a couple of old fools.

First stop is the Sweden Rock festival. It looks reminiscent of a Hitler Youth gathering. Anvil rocks their matinee spot. Lips meets Carmine Appice from Vanilla Fudge, Michael Schenker from the Scorpions and Tommy Aldridge from Whitesnake, amongst others, and gushes like a groupie. He’s both musician and fan. Aside from embarrassing himself, one important introduction is to a Japanese promoter. Anvil is big in Japan, apparently.

The fool’s gold rush begins on day 3 of the tour. Upon leaving the festival, the boys discover Tiziana hasn’t reserved them train tickets to their next stop. How do you tactfully have a go at the missus of a band mate? You don’t. Besides, she’s Eastern European. She’d probably knock Lips’ teeth out.

Lorca Rock Festival in Spain. The band are on at 7pm. Helsinki. Greece. Belgium. Denmark. Zagreb, Croatia. Back to Sweden. Budapest, Hungary. Poland. Lips sings a Jewish ditty – in the dressing room and not on stage. That would not go down too well in Poland. By day 28, the tour collapses in Prague when the promoters refuse to pay up. Canadian accents argue with Czech accents, and it all turns (PG rated) violent. A drunken Englishman steps in to console the band – “You’ve got shit management.”

Anvil! The Story of Anvil is entertaining but not illuminating. To achieve that, VH1 would have to make a documentary. It’s not as if they’re not capable; American Hardcore was nostalgic, informative and exciting. Anvil! is manipulative but pleasing. It’s the story of two loveable losers. Their shenanigans take them across North America and Europe with a sidebar in the UK. Despite their 30 year history, this story is no different from any band looking for a record contract.

The point, however, is their 30 year history. Their 35 year friendship. Lips and Robb both have families: wives, mothers, children, sisters. Suffering. Loyal. Supportive. The choices made in this life affect the lives of loved ones. Their families pay more than an emotional price for their dreams. This film is structured to have a happy ending. The band lives on beyond this film. What will be their ending?

I’m 41 years old. I was 11 when I decided I wanted to be a professional writer.

There are millions of us like Anvil.

This review of Anvil! The Story of Anvil is printed with the kind permission of Thrill Fiction.

For more reviews by A. Jaye, please see the following:

• The Girlfriend Experience
• Grace
• Sin Nombre