Angels & Demons (2009)

Here’s a piece of advice: Never play Trivial Pursuit with Robert Langdon, the hero of the Ron Howard-directed Angels & Demons. You’ll lose, and you’ll lose badly. That’s because Langdon is a walking catalogue of obscure scraps of lore, no matter how insignificant. He even makes Vatican officials look like first-year seminary students when discussing the history of the Catholic Church. Think the intellectual equivalent of Chuck Norris from, well, any Chuck Norris movie ever made. Too bad the movie isn’t as brilliant as its hero.

Based on the novel of the same name by Dan Brown, Angels & Demons picks up an undetermined length of time after events in The Da Vinci Code (even though the book actually served as a prequel). The Pope has died, and the selection of his replacement is about to begin. Meanwhile, over in Geneva, experiments have just created antimatter, a powerful and dangerous form of energy. Within minutes of the breakthrough, scientist Vittoria Vetra (Ayelet Zurer) discovers that the canister of antimatter has been stolen and one of her colleagues murdered.

Enter Robert Langdon (Tom Hanks), a brilliant historian and symbologist who teaches at Harvard University. He’s visited by a member of the Vatican police and informed that he’s urgently needed in Rome. Someone has kidnapped the four cardinals most likely to be elected Pope, and they’re going to be killed–one per hour–starting at 8pm that night. The person responsible claims to be a member of a secret society known as the Illuminati, and since Langdon once wrote a book on this hidden order, he’s been suggested as a possible last-ditch savior.

When he arrives in Vatican City (the smallest country in the world, by the way), Langdon learns even more bad news: The stolen antimatter has been hidden somewhere nearby, and it will detonate at around midnight. The resulting explosion will be enough to decimate both the Vatican and surrounding parts of Rome.

From there, Langdon springs into action with the help of Vetra (she’s been called in to consult on the antimatter), and the pair track down ancient clues concealed by the Illuminati. They are at times assisted by the former Pope’s right hand (Ewan McGregor), and at times hindered by the skeptical head of the Swiss Guard (Stellan Skarsgard). All the while, the hidden antimatter draws closer to detonation, and the cardinals are menaced by a killer-for-hire.

If you’ve seen (or read) The Da Vinci Code, the outcome of the mystery is never in doubt. Langdon is too good to fail, and it’s only a matter of “how” instead of “if.” The motivations behind it all are unsatisfying, however, and no clues are provided in order for the audience to deduce the identity of the culprit (besides just out-and-out guessing). When the villain is finally revealed, you’ll probably also marvel at how much their plan depended on heaping helpings of dumb luck.

Hanks gives a workmanlike performance, but it’s disappointing since we all know he’s capable of so much more. In many ways, Langdon is nothing more than a plot device with a hairpiece; something to keep the camera moving from mystery to mystery. Speaking of the hairpiece, it’s been noticeable subdued this time around, no doubt in response to the ridicule garnered from the last film.

The supporting cast is filled with talent, but their sole reason for existing is either to help or hinder our hero in pursuit of the next big mystery. I got the sense that Hanks and Zurer might have generated some great on-screen chemistry if given half a chance, but the script was far more concerned with obscure facts about the Catholic Church and other such minutia.

Besides Langdon trekking about Rome, we’re also treated to various behind-the-scenes intrigues involving the selection of the next Pope. The cardinals, dressed in red and speaking in hushed tones, are hardly the most compelling lot, and I could’ve done without the entire sub-plot. Angels & Demons was not a film which needed to last two hours and eighteen minutes, and the inclusion of these scenes made it seem incredibly bloated.

While he’s been responsible for some truly entertaining films, Ron Howard has also been accused of turning out shallow and uninspired works of mediocrity. Normally I’d disagree, but “shallow and uninspired” pretty much sums up Angels & Demons. Sadly, it lacks the one thing you’d expect most from a film set within the walls of the Vatican: a soul.

Oh, and where the heck is Clint Howard?